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felt like sharing this long ago..but I just can't find the right one who I can really talk to about my feelings of depressed becuz my first relationship really ended up so badly that I never had been expecting of....though the reason of leaving her is simply stupidity and I find really regretful that why did I chose that path...which almost drag me to a very end of my life. I knew I wasn't the best guy ever in the entire universe, cuz I spent most of my time with the internet...doing stuff of mine, and the only time I'm able to catch up on her were usually mid-night, night, we talk a lot frequently XD phony was our best way to stay in touch that time :d every time I think that I'm just a stupid useless guy, I felt like giving up on her and finale one night...she asked....should we rather stay on low profile or.....I replied....we dun seems to have a choice....and that time the only choice I was thinking of was giving up.....and then I told her...shouldn't we?
we hang up pretty sadly....i cried....the whole night...tears...everywhere...........n I just couldn't stop myself of thinking...luv..does hurts...no matter what...I'm not planning to hurt her the second time...cuz I knew if I did...she'll get hurt more than before she ever did....
I have one bad attitude, that even myself, I dislike it every much...when I felt depressed or jelousy...I dun feel like talking to her...or getting in touch of her...n will never plan on getting her....cuz I only hope she find one special guy who can replace all my weaknesses and care for her all the time....a guy who ain't like me

because of her existent in my life, my path changed, I tried out a lot of new things becuz of her, somethings that goes with designing and also handicraft, folding origami's, n trying to be much more passionate in drawing, sorry but I dun feel like mentioning too much, you can always search through my gallery, I post every single stuff I made for her, things that go with pinky and cute are all hers.
I knew that we both had occurs a lot of misunderstanding....she probably though that I'm a guy who enjoy being a playboy or something, I'm just trying to be really friendly with other girls as well, I should be more specific then, if I felt in love with a girl, I'll usually try my best to make fun of her :d and also hit her, hahahaha XD I enjoy though :d
I always wonders....who does she likes now? him? n that is the time when I felt all my hopes were lost in a sudden, I can never stay persevere
now....I dun feel like continuing this story....instead I want a damn full-stop right now!

I hope I can find somebody like her again, maybe in the next 14 years, I might have the luck to met one but I hope that time....the very ending story will be very different than this, maybe hell lot happier than this....